What do you NEED?
Pause for a moment. Slow Down. Lean back. Take a deep breath.
I have a question for you today. It’s easy to ask, and you’ve answered a million times before. But, spend time considering the answer in-depth this time. What do you need right now?
Forget about that to-do list, the never-ending demands from others about their wants, needs, and requests. What is it that would bring the most peace to your heart and soul? What is it that would get you back to joy and fulfillment? Bring you calmness? Are you a person who’s relatively in the chill mode about most things? Are you pretty agreeable most of the time? I’M FINE, IT’S FINE. Where do you want to eat? Anywhere. What Movie would you like to watch? Whatever you’d like. Stay in or go out? Either option is acceptable. Often, that means you give to others’ needs before your own, which isn’t an issue most of the time. You don’t mind. And there are times when you forget to do that check-in on yourself, look a little deeper, and make sure it is okay.
In my experience, when I felt utterly drained of energy and emotionally upset, all I wanted to do was snuggle up in my bed, watch a sappy chick flick. Or drink wine in the bath; I was acting cranky and maybe even somewhat sad while doing it.
The genuine desire to be in connection with others and have no demands on us isn’t something that comes to mind right away because most of the time, we are happier being productive, creative, and busy. There’s minimal downtime in our lives typically. Just because you’re one way, most of the time doesn’t mean you’re that way all of the time.
You need time to yourself, AND to not be alone, and where you aren’t the “doer.” Can you relate in some way to these feelings?
One of my most enormous asks that comes to mind was in 2018. I asked a person, other than my Mother, to Mother me. Not how they thought of it, but what I thought a mother should be in the world. I identified what it would feel like, look like, how I would be in the space and what I imagined it would provide to my soul.
I asked for a warm, safe place where I could be alone and not alone at the same time. A space to be creative and paint, read, meditate, play music, listen to me if I needed or wanted to talk, cook delicious and healthy food for me, draw me a bath with lots of bubbles, leave me be to relax in it, hug me when I want.
I believe in defining your needs and fulfilling them to see if you need them in the first place. Practice makes us better at all things. I learned a new belief about what being a mother means to me. I believe we can all be and have a Mother any day, anywhere. Every Mother taught me this, and I have felt extreme gratitude towards many relationships and roles since giving myself this gift of accepting a deeper meaning of Mother into my life. And I believe I am a better mother knowing that my kids want what I want. I think we all want the same things. It is in service to find out what they might be.
The tremendous weight we sometimes carry for days, months, years, and lifetimes will feel lighter to carry.
Your Mission, Accept the love you feel you need.
What do you – your emotions, physical body, mind, spirit – what do all the parts of you want or need you to do?
- Do you need sustenance?
- Need protection?
- Do you need empathy?
- Need honesty?
- Do you need rest?
- To Play?
- Do you need a connection?
- Do you need community?
- Do you need to journal, meditate or just be in silence?
- Do you need to read, watch mindless television, or listen to music?
Be willing to dive deeper. First, enjoy a lecture you’ve heard a million times.
Don’t move through the world on cruise control. Invite it all up and have a cup of coffee with it! While you might feel you don’t have the time, if you don’t take CARE of yourself, nourish yourself, you’ll never be able to be the best version of yourself. You need to put your oxygen mask on first to have enough energy to give to other people.
Okay, back on the road. Pause, and take a breath.
Shine some light on your needs. Be in harmony with the values you believe are true to you. Connect to yourself with empathy and compassion.
Or do you just need to sit and do nothing for a while, with no demands, no requests?
So go on, ask yourself now.
What do you need? All you have to do is ASK!